Cruel Nights
by foxboro
Summary: Jack and Elizabeth have found each other - what could possibly happen to change it. This story is set to the beautiful lyrics of Cruel Nights by Heart. Complete.


**CRUEL NIGHTS**

**Disclaimer – Unfortunately I own nothing. Jack, Elizabeth, Will and all POTC characters belong to the great mouse. If I owned them Jack and Elizabeth WOULD have been together (if I hadn't got there first!). This songfic is set to the amazing Cruel Nights by Heart. Again I have no claim to the music or lyrics. **

**Setting. Set 6 months after AWE. Elizabeth had her 24 hrs with Will and they had agreed that she would remain on The Black Pearl with Jack. Will knew that he could not deny her the right to have a life of her own but they agreed that she would meet him in 10 years. There is no child.**

**CRUEL NIGHTS**

Jack stood at the ships rail and stared, unseeing, across the vast, still ocean as he had every night for the past month. Every night and most of the days. Long, empty, meaningless hours that had lost all purpose. An aching void of time that crept slowly past, spent in a drunken stupor or merciful unconsciousness.

A month ago, he mused, life was as near perfect as it could get. A month ago the sun shone brightly and the future beckoned, full of the promise of dreams reaching fulfilment, of longed for miracles coming true, of security, love and passion. Of belonging. Now the rest of his life stretched before him, dark and forbidding – empty like his heart, his dreams, his world. The sun didn't shine, each day was a bottomless pit of despair, confusion and denial – and it was killing him. Slowly he was dying inside, unbelievably angry that she could do this to him and angry with himself for letting her – for letting her convince him that dreams did come true and then destroying him.

With a strangled cry, he threw the empty rum bottle he had been clutching into the dark abyss and wished with all of his heart that he had the courage to follow it – to end his torment. To find peace…the one thing that he craved so desperately…

With startling clarity his mind conjured their last day, and he grasped at the images with every fibre of his being, savouring them as a condemned man would savour his last meal…

JEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJE

…The morning light streamed through the cabin windows, flirting with the shadows, casting them aside and falling across his bed, across the one thing more precious to him than his life. He had been awake for hours, watching her face as she slept, serene and achingly beautiful. He grinned, wryly, finding it hard to believe that he had been fortunate enough in his lifetime to find her, the perfect fit to the puzzle, the puzzle that was Captain Jack Sparrow.

Stretching to remove the ache from his muscles, he stood and moved lithely across the cabin to the bed. Disturbed dust joined the dancing sunlight that lit the room. He sat on the bed and reached out, running the back of his hand lightly down her exposed cheek, not to wake her but to reassure himself that she was there and not some cruel figment of his often drink fuelled imagination. He smiled as she wrinkled her nose but then turned her face toward the pressure as if she, too, needed reassurance, even as she slept. Jack thought of the night that had just passed, a night of tenderness, new beginnings and mutual trust. Two people who had, finally, realised the course their ship was sailing and had embraced it fully, neither afraid to sail uncharted water and to revel in each miraculous discovery.

He looked at her lying so still yet vibrant on his bed, covered only by a thin sheet. Through the revealing material, her body was as exquisite as he remembered. Small, high breasts, a narrow waist, then the gentle swell of her hips. A flat stomach, and slender, rounded thighs tapering down to slim legs. His eyes moved up again to find her gaze on him. Confident and trusting. She smiled, a secret weapon in her unending armoury and Jack felt himself stir. They stared at each other for a long moment then Jack slowly, inch by tantalising inch, slid the sheet lower and lower, removing the barrier between them, his eyes never leaving hers, the action of his hand an unspoken question. In answer, she slowly reached up and pulled him towards her_. _

"_Oh Lizzie, luv, you've no idea how difficult ye made m' life since we first met. How much I longed to hold ye like this…how I imagined ye here with me. We have so much wasted time to make up for." _

His clothes quickly fell to a pile on the floor. They gave themselves gladly, delighting in the touch of lips, of hands reverently caressing, revelling in the the shockwave of emotion as naked skin moved upon naked skin. Time ceased to exist as again and again they joined as one, learning once more the secrets of each others bodies. To each of them, this was a beginning. The beginning of the rest of their lives. Soulmates...

JEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJE

A rough voice brought Jack spinning back to the present, unsure of where reminiscing ended and reality began, dazed, confused and shaken. He looked about him, searching for an anchor with which to tether his wondering mind.

"_Are ye alright, Jack? Jack?"_

He raised his head and, in the shadowy darkness, saw his friend and First Mate, worry etched across his face.

"_Leave m' be, Mr Gibbs."_ Jack muttered, swaying slightly as the brutal truth of the present once again hit him full in the chest. _"Jus' leave m'be. I want to be alone."_Jack said, once more turning to look out across the water.

"_But Capt'n…"_

Jack spun around with such force that the trinkets in his hair became a veil across his face before falling back to reveal the features of a beaten man, a man cast into the darkest pit of hell, from which he had no desire to return.

"_I said leave me alone an' I meant it! Savvy?"_ Jack forced out every word from between clenched teeth. _"Fetch m' a bottle of rum an' then go! I don't want ye here...I don't want anyone!" _He leant back and slowly slid down until he sat on the deck, knees against his chest, a lost soul waiting for redemption. He looked up again. _"Well what are ye waiting for man?"_

"_Aye, Capt'n." _Mr Gibbs slipped away into the inky night to fetch what the Captain demanded. He was a worried man. The crew had respected Jack, but since 'it' had happened, he seemed to be losing his mind, his grip on reality becoming weaker and weaker with each passing day, allowing no-one access – no help, no support or conversation. He resolved to keep a close eye on his Captain and friend, he would need help to drag himself back and face up to reality…when he was ready to trust. With a shrug of his shoulders he went to do Jacks bidding.

Hours later, Jack's mind surfaced again. It was half-light and the horizon was hiding the brilliance that would soon burst upon the ship from the east. He glanced down and registered the full bottle of rum at his feet. His brow furrowed as he tried to work out how it came to be there. He reached forward, uncorked it and drank deeply, before slumping once more.

**Every night without you is more than I can bear**

**Moonlight can be torture**

**When your love isn't there**

**I see you in the shadows**

**I can hear you in the wind**

**I think of you and I can feel my world closing in**

**I can't sleep - I keep wishing I could touch you**

**I'd be fine if I could make it through**

**Through these**

**Cruel nights**

**Cruel nights**

**Missing you nights**

**What do I do nights**

**Cruel nights without your love**

By mid-morning Jack had made it back to his cabin. Memories immediately surrounded him, clawing at him with gnarled, insistent hands. Swamping him in despair until he drank his way, once more, into the comforting arms of oblivion, where nothing could harm him, where fact became fiction. Here and only here was he alive, the one place where the horror of his nightmare receded and he was at peace…

JEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJE

The light shone on her face. The tangled web of her gossamer hair flitted about in the sea breeze. Dressed as she was in breeches, shirt and boots, sword strapped to her side she looked every inch the Pirate King. She caught him looking at her and smiled, a slow and sexy grin that speeded up his heart and filled him with light and life. Casually, he walked towards her and stopped at her side.

"_Ye'll pay for that later, luv!",_ he smirked at her and watched as her beautiful eyes widened and her pupils started to dilate. She looked up at him from beneath her lashes, promise written across her face. Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath as a miniscule _"Oh!"_ escaped from between his lips. _"An' for that, too!"_ he whispered huskily. He was just reaching out to pull her against him when a shout went up.

"_Ship ahoy, Capt'n!"_

"_Colours?" _He asked.

"_Merchant vessel, Capt'n." _Gibbs replied._ "An' she's low in the water. Must b' carryin' a fair bit o' bounty!"_

"_Mr Gibbs!" _Jack replied,_ "I feel a need to relieve that ship of her burden. I've a feelin' that this be m' lucky day! Hoist the colours!"_

Jack glanced at Elizabeth. She had picked up a pistol and was tucking it into the waistband of her breeches. He smiled at the sight she made. He had no qualms regarding her ability to handle herself in a fight. After all they had been through in the past, he thought that even he would probably struggle to best her. His eyes caught hers and they exchanged a grin. The message her eyes flashed told him to stay safe.

The Pearl, even bursting, as she was with swag, fully deserved her title of 'the fastest ship in the Caribbean'. In her element at being allowed to run and with an expert and well practiced crew it did not take long to catch the much slower merchant vessel.

"_Bring us broadside, Mr Gibbs. She presents a good target."_

"_Aye aye, Capt'n."_ Gibbs ordered the ship readied.

"_Prepare t' board!"_

As the Pearl came alongside the slower ship, Jack ran his eyes over the decks. There was only the bare minimum of sailors on deck. _'Mannin' the guns.'_ he thought, followed seconds later by the order _"Fire all!"._ which could be heard repeated down the length of the ship.

The Pearls' guns opened up with an ear-splitting roar, closely followed by the merchants opening salvo. The very air was split with the sound of the guns, smoke hazed the sun and the smell of gunpowder filled the air. Slowly, The Pearl edged closer, making the heavy guns useless.

"_All hands board!"_

Jacks' crew, swords drawn, making as much noise as possible, quickly swung over to the other vessel.

The fight was short lived. Faced by the pirates' pistols and sword skills and hopelessly outnumbered, the merchant crew surrendered quickly. Jack gave orders to empty her hold and then to let the crew go with the ship. He wasn't interested in murder or shipwrecking, just in lining all of their pockets.

"_Any losses or injuries?"_ he asked his First Mate.

"_Only a couple o' cuts, Capt'n."_ replied Gibbs. _"All in all an easy day's work!"_

"_You're in charge, Mr Gibbs. Report to me when the cargo is stored."_

Jack glanced about the deck, swarming now with his crew. Knowing that his men would be busy for a few hours, he thought he would take the opportunity for a little relaxation. He had promised Elizabeth that she would pay for her flirting and, he thought, there was no time like the present! He couldn't see her on deck and, smirking, decided that she had the same idea as him and had already returned to The Pearl. He swung back over to his ship leaving his crew to carry out his orders.

Elizabeth wasn't in their cabin where he had thought she'd be. Neither was she in the hold, the storeroom or the galley. Jack searched fruitlessly for her. He returned above decks and surveyed the activity on the other ship, but still she was nowhere to be seen.

"_Mr Gibbs!"_ he shouted across to the ship tied alongside his own. _"Would ye tell Miss Swann that her presence is requested on m' ship?"_

"_Aye, Capt'n!"_ Gibbs disappeared below decks to relay his message, only to reappear a few seconds later.

"_She's not here, Capt'n. Must 'ave gone back t' The Pearl."_

Puzzled, Jack turned away to resume his search, the pleasant feeling of anticipation starting to turn heavy in his stomach as it was replaced by worry. He felt his heart speed up and his blood start to race through his body as adrenaline once again released into his bloodstream. _'Where the hell is she?'_ he thought, as he started to search above decks. Frantically he searched, fear coursing through his veins increasing the pounding in his head. Starting at the bow he quickly worked his way astern, leaving no inch of deck untouched. He approached the stern and climbed the stairs to the upper deck. As he did so, he saw her.

She was slumped on the floor, by the helm, like a discarded rag doll. He froze – rooted to the spot by the terrible image he saw. In an instant, Jacks' stomach turned, acid forced upward into his throat, his heart stopped for an instant before an adrenalin rush made his heart race until it threatened to jump from his chest.

'_No!... No!...No!'_ his mind silently screamed, as movement returned and he ran across the deck to her. He threw himself to his knees beside her, his thoughts feverently denying what he could see. Tenderly, he lifted her head from the rough, wooden boards and cradled it in his lap, his fingers urgently smoothing her hair from her face, while he urged her to open her eyes, to look at him. There was no response – she remained motionless, as limp and malleable as a sail on a windless day.

As he cleared her hair from across her brow he saw why she would never look at him again. The splinter of wood had hit her in her temple and had penetrated deeply. A trickle of blood ran from the wound, down her face and was congealed in her hair, where it now mingled with the hot salty tears falling from his eyes. Tears that Elizabeth couldn't feel, would never feel again.

Jack suddenly lifted his head and let out a roar of pain, the sound of which immediately ceased all movement on the captured vessel, the sound of a wounded animal in excruciating pain, a sound of loss, betrayal and death…

JEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJEJE

…Jack surfaced from his nightmares and looked around him. His cabin was once again dark. His clothes were damp, both with sweat and tears and the bed, where he had passed out was in turmoil. He dashed the tears from his face and fought to steady his breathing. He felt trapped, trapped in his body, lonely, grieving and alone with no hope of redemption. Hope was futile – she was gone – she had made her final journey without him. She had abandoned him to his fate.

**Counting every minute**

**Every minute feels like days**

**It feels like time is standing still since you've been away**

**Always thought you'd stay forever**

**Always thought that you'd be here**

**Now it's been a lifetime since I held you near**

**Days crawl by, I keep wishing they'd be over**

**But I know they're only leading me to**

**To these**

**Cruel nights**

**Cruel nights**

**Missing you nights**

**What do I do nights**

**Cruel nights without your love**

**Since we've been apart**

**It's been tearing up my heart**

**Since you've been away baby**

**Cruel nights**

Jack stayed in his cabin for a week, refusing to leave it, paying no heed to Gibbs' pleadings or the food that he brought for him. He was a wreck. A totally broken man who had given up on life. He drank himself senseless until he collapsed and when he came round, he drank again to forget, to chase the present from his mind. The only time he was alive was when he could replay his memories and to do that he had to be unconscious. Gibbs feared that this was his Captain and dear friends last battle – one that he couldn't win – one that he did not even want to fight. He knew that Jacks' body was too weak to take such punishment and that his mind was already with Elizabeth.

**Oh I just can't get through another night**

**Without you beside me**

**I need you beside me**

**I can't sleep**

**I keep wishing I could touch you**

**I'd be fine if I could make it through**

**Through these cruel nights…**

Dawn was breaking as Jack opened his eyes. The cabin was lit by a brilliant sunrise, vibrant pinks, purples and blues slanted through the windows and fell across the bed. Jack realised that he felt different, lighter, as if a great burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He lifted his head to look about him…and saw Elizabeth sitting on the bed beside him.

"_I've been waiting for you Jack."_ she whispered, smiling, and held out her hand towards him.

Jack smiled for the first time since he had lost her and took her hand.

"_Why, Miss Swann, I do believe we have some unfinished business t' take care of. I promised yer that you'd pay an' we have an eternity to make sure ye do."_

**THE END**

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